Starfall
by Mikkeneko
Summary: Being a pop singer isn't all glam and cupcakes. Sakura Kinomoto, the lead singer of 'Starfall,' must struggle to throw off her old career as well as hide her new romance. Sakura/Tomoyo, rock star AU, angst and fluff.


**Title**: Starfall

**Pairing**: Tomoyo/Sakura

**Warnings**: Some language.

**Author's Notes**: Written for the Tumblr CLAMP Femslash Fest, and also for Bottan's lovely art. The theme for both pieces was 'Music AU,' so please have some pop idol Sakura and assistant manager Tomoyo!

* * *

After the police had gone the music hall had a dismal, abandoned feel to it. Tomoyo perched on a folding chair in the AV section, still wearing her publicity clothes and with her phone in hand, waiting for a call. The road crew hadn't returned yet to pack away all the lights, speakers and equipment - no point yet when they weren't even sure yet where they were going next. _Starfall _ had only intended to stop over in this city for one night, long enough for Sakura to sing a few of her most popular songs and then do a meet-and-greet with the fans. The teenaged pop singer loved those; there was little more than she enjoyed getting down off the stage and talking with her fans, smiling and shaking hands.

Sakura was so _nice;_ that was what made this whole debacle so senseless, and the only thing that had made it possible in the first place. When a smiling older man with a 'Konstellation Kids' t-shirt had presented her with a gift, Sakura had thanked him and opened it right away instead of handing it to her security team to be checked like she was supposed to.

If she had, the unwrapped hypodermic needle inside wouldn't have barely missed her hand, and she would have never had to see the note in bold red letters reading **'I HOPE YOU GET AIDS AND DIE, YOU SLUT.'**

The gossip media had already picked up on the story, of course. Tomoyo paged through the channels; one had a shot of the self-proclaimed "fan" being bundled away by security and taken away in a police car. The next had a serious-looking Syaoran Li, a dozen microphones aimed towards his face, giving a statement.

"Of course Sakura-chan is one of my dearest friends," Syaoran was saying, his brows drawn in a tight scowl. "I have the utmost respect and affection for her, and I am absolutely appalled by this disgusting behavior on the part of a so-called fan. Let me tell you, any person - male or female - who would do such a thing is no fan of mine!"

At the bottom of the screen, the ticker scrolled with the blurb: "Sakura Kinomoto, former child actress on the long-running and popular educational musical show 'Konstellation Kids,' received a nasty shock during her latest pit stop on her California tour..."

Tomoyo switched off the TV with a sigh, the only outward sign she allowed to slip of her inner aggravation. Why did reporters always insist on referring to Sakura as a "former child actress" instead of a "rising music sensation?" One of _Starfall's_ singles had placed nineteenth in last year's chart of top hits, and sales of her albums had risen steadily over the past eighteen months. By any measure, her career was a success and and only becoming more so, showcasing Sakura's musical talent the way Syaoran's new career showcased his acting talent.

And yet, so many people still saw her as the cute little girl she had once been. Tomoyo supposed she couldn't fault the talking heads for stubbornly repeating what was comforting and familiar, instead of being forced to accept that times had changed.

But then, that was the very heart of the matter, wasn't it? Times _had_ changed. And Sakura was no one's sweet and innocent child idol any more.

Leaving the dead TV reflecting a smooth image of the empty stage, Tomoyo turned instead to her phone. Among other things, Tomoyo helped her mother as _Starfall's _assistant publicity manager by handling the tumblr, facebook and twitter accounts. Sonomi was a smart, sharp businesswoman who knew the music industry inside and out, but the plain truth of the matter was that social media left her baffled. It often left Tomoyo baffled too, for that matter, but that was at the sheer weirdness of the fans moreso than the medium itself.

News of the assault had exploded across the internet, already having generated half a dozen posts on ohnotheydidn't and its own hashtag on twitter, with hundreds of posts and thousands of reblogs. Tomoyo skimmed a few threads and was relieved to see that the great majority of it was positive, voicing concern and support for Sakura and outrage for her assailant (although there were a few trolls, as always.) No doubt they would see a spike in sales in the next few weeks as people who had never even heard of _Starfall_ before tuned in to see what the controversy was about. Sonomi always said that no publicity was bad publicity, and Tomoyo supposed she had to concede it was true.

That didn't lessen her desire to march down to the police station and kick the man in the unmentionables, though. Repeatedly. With her pointed shoes still on.

Tomoyo heard the door of the music hall slam, and raised her head from the tiny screen as Sakura herself burst back into the room, still in her stage outfit and color high with indignation. The star jewelry around her neck and dangling from her ears bounced and flashed with every step, matching the furious fire burning in her eyes. "Sakura-chan," Tomoyo exclaimed, relief rushing through her at the sight of her. "Is everything okay, then?"

"Yes, they finally let me go," Sakura said with a deep sigh, marching down the aisle with flecks of gold glitter trailing behind her and flopping carelessly on the edge of the stage. She hadn't had a chance to change yet, all her street clothes still in the trailer. After the attack had happened she had been whisked off first to the hospital, to check that she hadn't been hurt, then to the police station, where the police had questioned her closely - did she know the man, had she ever met him or been contacted from him before, et cetera.

Tomoyo had been booted out of that interview and had come back to the music hall to wait for her; she would have been apprised instantly of any important news, but it still lifted an iron band from her chest to see Sakura safe and well. "I can't believe this happened - it's fucking unreal!" Sakura complained, balling one fist to strike against the floor.

Tomoyo set her laptop aside, focusing entirely on Sakura instead. "I understand why you're upset," she said encouragingly. "It was a horrible experience."

"I'm not upset, I'm mad!" Sakura snapped. Fidgeting and unable to hold still, she jumped to her feet and began to stride back and forth on the empty stage, her heavy knee-high boots stomping hard on the wooden planks. "Why do people still think I ought to be with Syaoran? It was just a TV relationship and for god's sake, we were both eleven! We were _little kids!_ Do people really think that everyone just marries their kindergarten playmates and never date or meet anyone new?"

Tomoyo watched her pace and rant, working out some of her jittery nerves. "It's okay to be upset," she reminded her gently.

"I'm not upset!" Sakura repeated forcefully. "I just hate it when they don't seem to realize that _I'm not that little girl any more!_ I've grown up! Did people want me to just stop time and stay ten years old for the rest of my life? I've moved on! Why can't people realize that? Are they so stuck in their own lives that they want everyone they ever saw on television to freeze right along with them? What did I ever do to them to make them - hate me - so much..."

Sakura's voice broke, and she took a deep gulp of breath, then burst into tears. She dropped down to sit cross-legged on the stage, wiping at her face with her hands and smearing the remains of her stage makeup over her sleeves. "Okay maybe I'm a little upset," she admitted through her sobs.

Tomoyo rose from her seat and went to perch beside Sakura at the edge of the stage, heedless of the dirty "You have every right to be," she said, sliding an arm around Sakura's shoulder and hugging her close against her chest. "Just let it all out."

Sakura's arms encircled her in turn, squeezing her tight as warm tears soaked through her shoulder. "I don't want to be afraid of my own fans," she sobbed. "I love my fans. I wouldn't be anywhere today without them. I don't want to be their enemy."

"They're not," Tomoyo assured her. "Your fans love you. Some people are just sick in the head, Sakura, and you have so many followers that it's unavoidable that one or two of them would be fucked up. It's not all of them, and they won't blame you for protecting yourself."

"I just want to sing and make everybody happy," Sakura wailed miserably. "Why can't I make people happy and still be myself?"

Tomoyo stroked her hair, fingers catching in the cinnamon strands and dislodging the metal-and-wire headpiece of stars that had been worked in before the concert, watching the glittering things fall to the floor. "You can," she promised soothingly. "You should only ever be yourself, Sakura, because you're wonderful and perfect and everyone who sees you knows it."

Sakura's tears were tapering off now, although the misery still had not released its grip on her. "But there's so much I still have to hide," she said. "I hate it. I hate that I can't let anything even a little bit adult or shocking show through or else people _react like this_. I hate having to keep all my most important things secret because my _sales _would be _affected _ if people found out I'm a lesbian. I hate that I'm in love with the most special person in the world and nobody's allowed to know!"

Tomoyo smiled. She couldn't help herself; even at her most downcast, Sakura still managed to light her up like a bonfire. "But I'll know," she murmured. It had been Sonomi's decree when they started dating to keep their relationship a secret, but Tomoyo agreed; she never wanted to do or be anything that would hurt Sakura's prospects.

"Why are you okay with this?!" Sakura demanded, pulling away to regard her with wide, leaf-green eyes. Tears sparkled in the corners of her eyes, making her eyelashes stick together and smearing her mascara. "Why are you so selfless? Don't you hate how everyone treats you like a dirty secret? I do!"

"But your singing career comes first, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said. "I understand that. You must understand it too. It's all part and parcel of being a star.

"You have a beautiful talent and you should share it with the world," Tomoyo continued, reaching up with a delicate touch to press against her cheeks and eyelashes and wipe the tears away. "I love to see you shining brightly on the stage, singing your heart out, and knowing in secret that a part of you is singing for me. I would never do anything to bring you down. I'm content knowing that at the end of the day, the star will fall into my arms and be mine."

Sakura's chest heaved, and more bright sparks appeared in her eyes, tears welling up of sorrow and joy and emotion. "Oh, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura murmured, and leaned forward; her eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted.

The bright stage lights flooded Sakura's face with vivid color, but Tomoyo still recognized the familiar color of her lipstick; it was one they shared, since they figured that way people were less likely to notice if the makeup got a little smeared before a show. Tomoyo closed her own eyes and leaned forward, twining her fingers with Sakura's as she pressed their lips together.

Sakura had a habit of chewing on her lower lip when she was nervous; after the day she had, it was no surprise that her lip was nearly in tatters. Tomoyo soothed it gently with the tip of her tongue, before drawing the tender flesh into the warmth of her own mouth. Sakura moaned softly at the sensation and leaned in closer, her hand gripping Tomoyo's tightly as she deepened the kiss.

That small sound still rocked through Tomoyo, like Sakura was singing privately for her, just for her. Tomoyo was different from Sakura; she didn't need to be out in the limelight, she didn't want to be noticed. She was happy to wait behind the curtains and watch, to keep her most precious things private, and secret, and safe.

Sakura shone so bright, tried so hard, cared so much. The stars that shone brightest were also those that shone the briefest, burning themselves out before falling to the earth. Tomoyo had seen it in far too many other celebrities; she knew better to think that it wouldn't happen to Sakura too. But when that day came, Tomoyo would be here to catch her.

* * *

end.


End file.
